How Not Caring How Good You Are At Something….Can Make You Better

As of tomorrow my brief 4 week period of working 24/7 will end….

HEEELLLLL YEEAAAHHHHH

Over the last couple of weeks i have been too busy to properly focus on anything besides my Club Managing work. Now you would think because of this other part’s of my life would start to get worse, for example my Dating life. But guess what, i have had more success than ever and have girls coming out my bum and ear holes and practically every possible angle you can imagine. How is this possible? Well its very simple….

Sometimes, the more focus you put on something, the more meaning you attach to it, meaning that the result is alot more important to you. So there is more of a chance of you lets say getting nervous or getting negative emotions when the time comes to put all your practice or pre planning to use. Like a Runner who has been training for the Olympic Try Outs for the last 6 months and when the big day comes, he gets nervous and anxious and doesnt make cut. Its such a shame.

Its not our fault that we feel strongly towards things we care about, its great…it lets us know that it means alot to us. But we dont want our emotions to control us.

So something i discovered was that, if for a short period you take the focus off of something you have been focusing on and place this focus on something else…the next time you come into the situation where you would have usually been super focused for that old task, you may find yourself more relaxed and at ease.

For me, the moments lately when i have been out in clubs, have all seemed…well…. trivial. I was at ease in every interaction, getting numbers, going home with a few girls. Its been really fun and the so soooo simple reason for that is that i didnt place any extra meaning on whatever was happening. At times where i was really focusing on my interactions really making sure everything was perfect, i would sometimes think alot about what to say before because i wanted to get it perfect. This sometimes put extra stress on me, not good. But over the last few weeks it has been super smooth sailing, i’ve met so many and had some great experiences with a lot.

The key thing to remember about what i was experiencing was that, the whole time just being out and seeing a really nice girl and then chatting to her has now become a trivial thing. Or for a more scientific/nlp term….it has become an unconscious competence for me.

I strongly suggest anyone out there takes a short break from anything they have been doing constantly for the last couple of months. Whether it be practicing your social skills or training for that Tennis Tournament coming up or revising for that big test. Just try it out, fill the time you would normally spend doing whatever it was you were doing with, maybe seeing a close friend or going out and buying yourself something new. Anything that makes you feel good. Just try it and let me know how you get on .

Now, i’m off to plan my dates for the next week ahead

Chat soon peeps.

Sam Ben-David